Right, ye can take the photie noo ah’ve let ma hair oot…..

Ahhhhhhh ….. Tent up….. First Beer

In a ‘baron’ field their stauns a coo, it must be gone coz it’s no there noo……

One of the Product Pixies… “behold My wares”

I hope that Tribble’s got a ticket……. !

Just keep movin….. easy diz it…..

Many nutters appeared……..

One of the Ticket Pixies……….

‘Fit like maun’

I guess the word of the day for Stormin’ The Castle this year would be, er, muddy…, then sunny… then drunk .. then fall over…. haud oan that’s not just one word….. yer point caller 🙂 Unless you’ve been out of the country, or live in the Western Isles of Scotland you’ll know that it’s pretty much pissed it down all friggin’ year, if not statistically and meteorologically speaking, it just seems that way, except for the meteors, I haven’t seen any of them this year, or any other year for that matter, but I once saw an elephant fly…. So there was no realistic expectation of blistering sunshine for Stormin, but hey, the weather faeries must have danced their merry dance, as after days of rain earlier in the week, Friday started out very sunny indeed and other than a wee shower the weekend just got better… So, many happy wanderers appeared early at the gate, waiting to get camped up, but not in a Julian Clary sort of way, and party all weekend. Given the state of the ground and an uncertainty of how long the sun would last the gates were opened a bit early to let folk get their tents up and their shit together… Pit the kettle on….. Biblical levels of precipitation meant that the main camping field and show field were effectively just like Chocolate Crème brûlée, for those not of the Jamie Annoying-Bugger-Oliver persuasion, that’s a thin crusty type coating covering a chocolate moosey type substance….. in this case mud…. For those not familiar with Stormin’ there are three camping fields, two inside and one outside, that’s three isn’t it ?, the general opinion is that the inner fields are more difficult to navigate when the weather is shite given their penchant for slopeyness, however the reverse was the case this year. Ooops…… Loads of marshalls, what’s the collective noun for marshalls ?.. a flange ? , a binge ? a convocation ?, were sent by ‘the tin box pink pixies’ to the main gate to help folk who were either not confident enough to get their bikes onto field or those just to crap at riding their bikes to make it across the field, this may seem a bit harsh I hear you say, but ‘kin ‘ell there were some eejits who, depsite being told to ‘keep going’ and use the momentum they had made on the track mat, simply shat themselves and stopped as soon as they hit the grass, then put it in first gear and ‘booted it’, thus breaking the crust, digging in and ruining the surface for everyone else. These folk were the only ones who did any moaning, everyone else was in great humour and all happy just to have arrived. Those marshalls stayed there all day, there were only a couple of soft drops and thankfully no one was injured in the making of this paragraph.   I always enjoy watching happy folk arriving, much better than the greetin face feckers I come across during the week :-). As the site filled with campers, folk were beavering away behind the scenes to prepare the show field for human consumption, I’ll be doing another article soon on the ‘build up’ to Stormin’, but it’s suffice to say that it was ‘touchin’ cloth’ on Thursday night as to whether the event should open, the ‘Event Safety Consultant’ advised that the thoroughfare had too many very deep ruts, yes, deeper than those along the top road which remained, for safe passage, Coxy was having none of this, I can’t quote verbatim but it was along the lines of ‘like F&*& we’re not opening !!!!!!!’ so a JCB’s services were somehow procured after midnight on Thursday to take the top soil off and heap it up into big ‘mud drifts’ to make a safer surface to fall over on when yer pished comin’ out of the Engine Bar…. More clearing and preparation in the morning delayed the opening of the show field, there was even a queue at the gate, well folk were hungry, so the field had to open ready or not, luckily Bikers are a hardy sort and used to a bit of mud, most made the best of it. This year the enterprenurial skills of ‘Messrs “Mine, Mine, Mine” Sturgeon, & Philipson’ were selling cheap beer and cider (£20 a slab !) out the back of a lorry, a right dodgy pair too.. 🙂 . Mr Sturgeon did accost me later, observing that many of my compatriots must be on site as his wad of £20 notes had many more Scottish ones than English, I observed in return that he was selling beer cheap off the back of a lorry, what did he expect 🙂 I fell over some friends who had circled the wagons and put up a party tent, very effective too it was, Joe went from ‘sober’ to ‘boak’ to ‘pit tae bed’ in the space of an hour, hee hee , that’s the way to do it 🙂 I took a stroll up to the show field to see how the crowd was dealing with the er, interesting conditions, most took it in their stride, ‘most’ of the traders had made it onto the field. The ‘fun and games’, which will be in the ‘build up’ feature, of getting the 40 footer with 35 tons of drink onto the site basically meant that there was no point in even trying to get the fairgound on, the bungee jump wieghs in at 60 tons !!!. It was a shame as I was looking forward to the dodgems, I like dodgems, especially the jammy ones, but, dodgems or beer ??? .. .daddy or chips ??? Joe.. just prior to his demise….. Rally Virgin Cocktails…. In aCosta Cup After a fine dining on lobster thermidore, which bore an uncanny resemblance to cottage pie from the superb Debbie and Oily’s ‘Marshall’s Fuel’ van it was high time I went off to see the first of the bands, as usual there is the Main stage and The Iris stage, ‘The Whole Hog’ were first up on the Iris Stage, followed by ‘Mother Earth’ who’s classic rock got the tent going. Damaged Inc rattled through their Metallica tributyness and opened the Main stage, followed ably by ‘The Gatecrashers’ and ‘Novana’, guess who they are a tribute to ?, the latter was a bit of a Marmite job, you either love or hate Nirvana, damn, gave it away……, ‘The Answer’ closed the evening. Look… Flying Pies….. Some of The “Quad Squad” enjoying some downtime …… Saturday is mostly about the custom show for me, well apart from drinkin’ and meetin’ up, This year was the bold Tim’s swansong prior to retiring to the Maldives and taking up the post as the new president of the U.S…. . Around 10am I had a wee keek round the Iris Stage to see if, given the ground conditions, anyone would be brave enough, or in some cases, sober enough to bring their bikes on to the Custom Show field, indeed there were folk who had, good on them I say, bloody good chaps and chappesses…… Two girls even rode Tomos mopeds on successfully…….. There was some nice stuff down on the fields which I would have like to see in the show, however we deleted the traditional ‘Can’t be asrsed trophy’ , coz as judges we couldn’t be arsed walking round the camping fields if folk couldn’t be arsed riding their bike into the show 😉 The new svelte Blue sporting this year’s hair colour had returned from her worldy travels to judge/laugh/lark about with me and Richard (who has since resigned as the Vice President of the US to take over from Tim on the bike show) . We had 56 entries in the show this year and some lovely stuff, Shawn Barley’s big grey ‘Ferguson’ with it’s twin chain operated suicide shift and air suspended cast iron tractor seat powered by a Range Rover air pump. In Shawn’s words “18 month’s of hell and stress but worth it in the end”, I would agree, I loved the turn up exhausts with rattle covers and the huge knurled internal throttle and clutch grips. The BSA A65 in ‘Root Beer Candy ?’ was sublime, simple and just lovely, a proper ‘thigh rubber’, an exercise in how to build and finish a custom bike with such fine detail and simplicity, such simplicity is very very hard to achieve….. A true representation of a Harley ??? Without a doubt David Cooper’s XT660 steampunk overture in brass and copper was attracting the most attention from the crowd, it cost £185 to build apparently, and every part does something, I just didn’t have a fortnight to figure them all out :-), He claims this was built in a shed by a man, who is not a plumber, on Tramadols, Diazepam and Morphine…. So what are you waiting for ……. I did have to spend a few moments on the phone to Robbo who steadfastly would not believe that his Kwak 1100 chop had won Best Jap…… As the bike show was happening the first band of the day struck up on the Iris Stage, ‘Big River’ attracted a fair crowd for the time of day providing a soundtrack for the bike show of Neil Young to Tom Petty, in fact they played much of my record collection. Party’d Oot After the presentation of the awards, ‘Big Red and The Grinners’ took to the stage in a well dressed kinda Hayseed Dixie influenced set from OCMS to Mumford and Sons. All in all a pretty good place to spend the afternoon. One of the bands I was keen to see was the young band ‘Blackjack’ who I’d seen, well I use the term loosely given the quantity of Jack I’d consumed at Sparty’s wedding, looking at their gig list they are a really hard working band who are really tight and look like they are having a right good time. For the ‘opener’ band on the main stage they blew the place apart, their Thin Lizzy medley , whilst medley’s ain’t my cuppa was superbly executed and got the crowd right in the mood, I hope Veece gets them back again, they could easily top the bill. The ‘Sleaze Sisters’ followed up with their brand of glam rock covers, ‘1977’ with a round of punk, At this point I had an interlude in the engine bar with ‘The Broon’ , a few pints in and I somewhat reluctantly staggered off to catch Terrorvision who were headlining, sure not all the music appealled to everyone but the atmosphere was the usual Stormin’ party…….. it’s a little blank after this 🙂 From appaling weather earlier in the week to the brilliant weather of the weekend, the show did go on, thanks to the efforts and determination of hard working volunteers who toiled to make sure nearly 5000 folk could come and party. Here here, I’ll drink to that….. see ye next year 🙂 Words and Pics by al@bikers1.com Custom Show WInners Best In Show I. Farrar BSA A65 Best Custom + Exhibitor’s Choice David Cooper XT660 Best Engineering Shawn Barley Harley Ferguson Best Streetfighter Mart TL1000S Best Paint Evan Harley 1200S Best Classic Chrid ‘ 65 Sportster Best Three Wheeler Lauren Armstron g 8 years Best Alternative Gareth BSA M21 Best British Puss BSA A10 Best American J.V. Milne Softail Outfit Best European Yvonne Cooper Tomos 50 Best Japanese Robbo GPz1100 HIghly Commended HIghly Commended Joff Cox Z550 HIghly Commended Sue Woodhouse Speed Triple Trike HIghly Commended Ken Park Tomos 50