A Mars Bar and a packet of Crisps, that’s what I could buy if I had a penny for the number of folk who’ve said to me in the past, “Aye ye should do the Minehoff man, it’s a good do”.

I would’ve preferred that around 1700 folk had told me, then I could justify a bottle o’ Jack ;-), or if 17 folk had told me and I’d charged them a pound…… aye, anyway….”Oi, stop bletherin’ pish an’ get on wi’ the rally coverage.” Aw, a’right then. As I said, for various reasons, none of which interesting enough to write down, nor remember, this was the first time I’d done the Minehoff do. Apparently the last couple of years have been pretty wet and gloopy, legendary talk of trench foot an’ things of that ilk. Still it didn’t seem to dampen the spirits nor the enthusiasm of regulars to return.

I thought I had a good idea where the site was as I’d worked down that way in the past. Naw !, the site was ‘herfishully’ in ‘the middle of feckin’ nowhere’. The Minehoff folk had done a splendid job of signposting it from Haddington, even putting “Slow” signs up, which were actually there because of a bad bend or particularly cantankerous gun wielding sheep hiding in the hedges, but I kept thinking “slow” meant I was approaching the gate, after nearly finding meself in several empty fields I eventually found the site.

What cracking site it was too, a shallow valley flanked by trees on each side. No coo shit in site, they must’ve hoovered for us coming.

Ye put yer left leg in, yer left leg oot

After a few pots of stovies, yes Jackies stainless steel (coz I don’t know what she calls it) food stall was there, corned beef stovies line yer guts nicely for the impending evening consumption of (more) intoxicating liquor. Friday night’s bands were ‘Spank the Plank’ and ‘Broken Spoke’.

I don’t recall much of either band as I was bletherin’ and having a good time, there was a good party atmosphere in the marquee, the fine weather, yes I’ll repeat that for the hard of hearing, f-i-n-e w-e-a-t-h-e-r dear, meant that many folk were sitting around outside enjoying the fine evening. The Beermonsters crew seemed to be having a particularly good time, of course the Saints and Sinners had a large contingent, wot a surprise 😉 and a few ‘Fat Bastards’ too.

After working our rally last week my mission, that I gladly chose to accept, was just to kick back, get bladdered and enjoy meself. ‘Mishun akumplished cap’in’, as what happened after that is a bit of a blur shall we say. I arrived at about 5pm on Friday so I managed to get a ‘flat bit’ to put my tent up. Now puttin’ me tent up is a pain in the arse, the only thing worse is takin’ it down again. What we really need is poleless instant erection (phwarr, haud on, quiet in the cheap seats!) biodegradeable cheap tents, you could either throw them in the bin on Sunday morning, or if they made Bacon Butty flavoured ones ye could have them for breakfast, would save loads of grief.

I bumped into Vix and Christine and decided it was a good place to pitch (why? have I lost my mind? ;-). The generous offer of “Here, try this, you’ll like it, it’s peach vodka”, ws accepted, oh yes it was tasty enough, just like fruit juice, a pint of it later made puttin’ me tent up look like the Bolshoi Ballet doing origami through a letter box. Italian 20% proof, look out for these wimmin’ they won’t help ye put up yer tent, they’ll just laugh at ye trying to pour Peach Vodka with the top still on the bottle. You’ve been warned 😉

The hoaky cokey was provin’ popular all over the site

This is a traditional ‘marquee in a field affair’, a 5 poler with a bar on the end. Plenty of room to sit, lie down, fall over and dance, simultaneously.


We were treated to some stunt flyin’ by the Duke of Hamilton, apparently

I must have found my tent, leastways I woke up in it. Suspicious that I was feeling fine, no great actually, I headed off for a coffee, keeping one eye over my shoulder for the wee bastard that was following me with a shovel a few paces behind, right enough he caught me about half an hour later giving me a right good ‘scud’ round the back of the napper, er’ anyone got any hangover pills?

‘Bunnie’ was busy putting the water slide back together, soapy water , inner tubes which was keeping the weans happy. Some folk took advantage of the offer of a ‘cram into a caravanette’ to go to Haddington to the pub.

I decided just to chill out and wander the site to check out the bikes and catch the craic then sit down with Davie to get the details and more photies for the feature on his Gpz. The was a bike show outside the marquee, not a lot of entrants but some lovely bikes. ‘Ping’s’ fat top harley (which I’ve just seen on the Rock & Blues coverage on Men and Motors), Davie’s (soon to be feature bike) Gpz resplendant in new paintwork and several others of note, see the photies. Saturday night saw ‘The Shore’ followed by ‘Mischief’ who played a more mixed set than I’ve heard for a while from Nickleback to Tom Petty to the Waterboys. ‘FM’ were up last, nae offence but they reminded me of ‘Strange Fruit’ from the film ‘Still Crazy’, maybe it was just the singer. But the dance floor was bouncin’, well plenty of folk were.

The trophies were presented along with bunches of flowers to some of the lassies who helped out and one of the blokes who I believe had just become a Dad. Shaz won the £100 draw with number 312, how can I remember the number?, coz mine was 313, bugger.

So the Minehoff has been entered into my rally calendar for next year, I can see why there are so many regulars, there were over four hundred folk this year. Thanks tae Sparko and the rest of the Minehoff for a great party, put it in yer diary for next year.

Words & Pics By Al

Jock “I am Jimmy Page”

Best Stretfighter Bandit

TROPHY WINNERS (got confused wi’ the pic’s, if they are wrong let men know)

Best Chop Ping’s Harley  

Best Paint Dave’s GPz550

Furthest Travelled Female Jenni Gibson

Furthert Travelled Male Dean Wedge Beermonsters

Best In Show Ping’s Harley

Best Trike Vicki’s Mini Trike

Best Club Turnout Saints And Sinners


Best Rat Liz’s Superdream