I was ‘merrily’, and I use the word in the style of Mr Daniels, wandering out of the bar at the Rampant Lion Rally when I came across some overly comfortable looking blokes on a comfy sofa in the hall, turned out to be Jim, Dave and Ernie from the Leyland Eagles, a club I knew of but had never been to their rally.
As is the way of it, we got blethering, mostly about Dave’s antics of filling his Goldwing with diesel, don’t even ask !, the long and short of it ended in them convincing me that I had nothing better to do than come down to their rally. I tried all the usual excuses like “I’m washin’ the dog” or “I’m ironing the hardtail” but they were having none of it.
In an attempt to delude myself into believing that I had a sembelance of organisation about me I set about sorting out my panniers on wednesday night only to be distracted by an unruly Alsatian wanting her dinner. The dog would make me most uncomfortable later. I met up with “Early start” Watty at the gas station along with a couple of other trikes, we set off for the open and hideously boring M74 drag south, Watty was struggling to make 55 on his 1000 wing engined trike, I wasn’t up for the tardy pace so I arranged to meet up later and took off. The meeting point was Forton services, I had arranged to ‘vooz’ me ‘rendies’ with some Gobshyte RC mates from the south …………… no body about, other than an annoying woman trying desparately to flog me a credit card that I don’t need and don’t want, finally I filled her form in order to shut her the F*ck up, so if your name is michael main and you live at 1 main st, maintown, County Main and you get a credit card, sorry :-).
So I wait, wait and wait a bit more… right, time to chase folk, I phone Watty to discover he’s at Southwaite with what he suspects is a blown engine on his trike and is awaiting on recovery, bugger, he’s got me ticket !!!. Julia is at Forton on the northbound side with a sick GSX750 that has contracted a bad dose of disintery and the motor has shat it’s load all over the car park. John arrives with my ticket and we head off for the rally site somewhere between Preston and Blackpool, Curley who is local (er, to what ?), is our guide, who can’t explain how to get to the rally site, just that he’ll know it when he sees it !.
Finally I get to the site, good field beside a pub, result!. Well, would’ve been a result had “Landady Avarice of the third deadly sin” not put a quid on all the food, fifteen pence on a pint followed by another ten pence on a pint on saturday, well, we are, after all apparently, just dumb bikers who wouldn’t notice !! Sign-in, tent up, to discover that the hungry Alsatian which had distracted me when packing had meant I’d left half me shit at home, roll mat, torch, luckily, not my Jack 🙂 This might all seem like a bad start to a rally, not in the least, well, not after I’d cracked open the Jack and the rest of the crew had hobbled in on broken machines and we commenced partying. I understand that there was in fact music on Friday night, would you credit it, I thought there was other noise in the marquee above the talking and consumption of much alchohol. This of course is pityful excuse for partying and not paying attention :-).
Saturday afternoon’s silly games with spacehoppers, brides, grooms in hula skirts and handcuffs started of well, didn’t it ?, no ! it was always down at the level of complete chaos and much hilarity. Millenium BC came out of it well with “Coach” winning the blokes entries and “Deb’s” for the ladies. Of course there was no cheating going on whatsoever in amongst the pile of bodies, honest.
As the evening progressed were treated to ‘Rolling Thunder’, the pre-requisite for joing the band was to have long hair and take yourself very seriously. This of course was balanced by the ‘drinking’, ‘fluffy bunnies’ and ‘gettin nekkid’ games, well you know how it is. Watty made a brave effort of twelve marshmallows in his gob and could still say ‘fluffy bunnies’ only to be outgobbed by a lassie, who managed thirteen !!!!. She later claimed that her man was very happy, no shit ! The redeeming feature of the ‘gettin nekkid’ game was that Watty didn’t enter! I’m not sure the assembled crowd could have handled that, Besides, Patrick Moore hadn’t forecast a total eclipse of the stage, not that I’m casting aspertions on Watty’s fine physique you understand.
‘The Truth’ finished the night off, well musically speaking, for several ‘over inebriated’ souls the night had finished much earlier, the local council bloke did allow an overun, how nice of the nanny state to allow us to have a slightly longer ‘good time’. A great time was had, thanks to the Leyland Eagles for a great party, another regular for the diary methinks. On returning home I emailed Jim to get the winners list, coz I’m usually to gassed to write things down at the time, holding a camera is challenge enough thanks. The list is semi complete as Jim was busy with other more important things.
Due to irregular and
unexpected sunspot activity affecting
the orbit of Venus , trophy information will
not be accompanied
by a responsible adult nor have the pleasure of being associated with any particular photie in this write up. Oldest Rider – John, T998 VCK Youngest Legal Rider – Eddie From Perverts In Leather, aged 17yrs 3 Weeks Longest Distance Male – Ian From Gobshytes RC, 304.6 Miles Longest Distance Female – Aga From Poland 2023 Miles Best Undressed Male – Dave With The Band Between The Lines Best Undressed Female – Cherbyl ?, that’s what she said. First Prebook – Ken Walton Best Rat – Nellie Best Club Runner Up – Scavangers Best Club Turnout – Gobshytes RC Best Custom – Charlie From Moobobs Who Still Needs To Get His Trophy Best In Show – Q857GFY Best Chop – N4TH4N Best Streetfighter – Y98ETY Best Trike – Q658 KUA Best Cruiser – YUO4WCK word & pics email@example.com
Seeing as I was offishully on holiday, I was havin’ a weekend off, so Sub-Ed Scooby stepped up to the breach to point the camera and try to remember what the hell went on….Al
Arriving in a very wet and rainy Scotland and the site was beginning to fill up fast. It was luverly to see so many friends at this one, and hugs
were in abundance!
Remember girlies, never trust a cowboy in gold hat….
It’s been a few years since I was last at this rally and it seems to have spread over more barns and out buildings than wot I remember. Which was great, cos MAG put on a blues area wiv funky candles and chilled oot atmosphere in one barn and rock muzic wiv room to jump aroond like loonies in another – I’ll leave it to your imagination where I spent most of my time!
So as more folk arrived the evening began to heat up and the full blown nonsense
so it continued:
sure if the Jiggy got me or it wiz the Turbo Vimto, but I really cannot
write words at this point. All I can say is thanks to whoever had ma camera,
here’s some foties:aa
so wot went on there then?!?! Well yeah the usual nonsense like I said.
And yup yiv guess it I’ve no idea who won wot trophies… well I can’t
be organised all the time, but I did find these foties:
I have to say the trophies at rallys these days just get better every time.
were other trophies, but folk were either in their kip or another barn
somewhere… oh and there wiz the youngest rally goer… who was a very
cute wee lass who was like grease lightening and managed to dart up to
the stage, grab her trophy and run away before I cud even press the ‘take
fotie button’ !!!
that cowboy just kept appearing…..aa
And Seth very kindly checked to make sure the Scooby Switch was definately
stuck on! He tried to turn it off but was forced to dance into the wee
small hours, even when the barn was empty and it was only us and the DJ
left! (Seth you are a total gentleman – thank you!)
The stalls were all really good and there was a big selection of ‘stuff’ to buy – I know cos ma beer fund suffered… good job Capt Morgans was already packed!
Met up wiv the luverly folk from Blackhawk Hearse too, had a good natter and a few beers.
Unfortunately my photography does not do the amazing trike and coach any justice, but visit their website for further information.
It is a thought… but one day I guess we’ll all need to go, so why not “go out in style” as Gordon would say. I know I certainly want to. I got some ‘arty’ shots of the band on Saturday nite, not quite up to the
Bikers1 quality that we all know and love, but I thought not half bad for a Scoobied Scoobs who’d been force fed Jiggy and Turbo Vimto !
A bit of a mixed up report, but a true reflection of my memory of it all! The fire was lit and the songs began, everyone huddled up and no-one with a care. Just glad of good company and great friends and all knowing that
each and every one of us will have a huge hangover in the morning…
Until the next time, hugs fae Scooby x
Thanks Scoobs, ah didn’t need tae remember a thing, just as well with all that turbo vimto about…Al